The War Within Series: Rejection & Self-Hate
Updated: Nov 30, 2019
Rejection is one of those issues that truly keeps us bound. It is a spirit that ultimately aims to keep us out of our destiny through us rejecting God, ourselves and others. We will struggle to serve God's people and step into new things if we don't commit to overcoming rejection.
We can find ourselves;
unable to move forward into deeper intimacy with God
unable to walk in purity
having self serving/impure motives concerning our purpose
struggling to maintain healthy relationships
battling with competition, jealousy, envy
feeling unworthy, depressed, unloved etc
struggling with various destructive & dysfunctional habits
Rejection usually gets a foothold very early in our lives, and in every case that we experience trauma or emotional hurts, the stronghold is reinforced. However, we can again find comfort knowing that God has provided all we need to overcome rejection.
For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down strong holds - 2 Corinthians 10:4
Enduring the process
Rejection is not one of those issues you visit once. It can be woven into our souls in such a complex way, for example;
Rejection through the door of fatherlessness causes us to reject God as our Father
Through the door of sexual abuse it can cause us to reject intimacy and sexuality as God intended
Through the door of bullying it can cause us to reject/fear healthy relationships
Amidst all of this we can come to a place of self rejection (self-hate) and fear being rejected further
Many a times we can begin the journey of overcoming rejection and then get stuck long the way. We’ll share a few key things to remember along your journey.
Tool 1: Sanctified by Truth (John 17:17 | Romans 12:2)
In Christ we are new creations, translated from darkness to light, from orphans to adopted sons and daughters. Rejection keeps us from truly resting in our new identity in Christ, and so renewing our mind in this area is so important.
Some truths that ground our identity in Christ;
I am made in His image - Genesis 1:26
I am redeemed by His blood - Ephesians 1:7
I am clothed in His righteousness - Isaiah 61:10 / 2 Corinthians 5:21
I am accepted in the Beloved - Ephesians 1:6
I am adopted into the Family of God - Romans 8:15
I am created for good works - Ephesians 2:10
When we allow our minds to be filled with the truth of who we are in Christ, and how God views us, we realise that there is no longer room for rejection. Everything we see is God giving His best to pursue, redeem, and restore us to a Love-relationship with Him.
Search the scriptures, and seek the Lord in private, and let His Word renew your mind. Let Him show you His hand in your life from before you were born, to this very moment. No matter the moments you have been rejected, God has done everything to make us accepted and acceptable in Him. Remember this as you allow Him to heal you in the areas where you have experienced rejection in the past.
Tool 2: Siding with Truth
Knowing the truth about who we are in Christ is one thing; coming into agreement with that truth is another. One of the things that tripped me up personally with rejection, was not realising that no matter how much I meditated on the Word, and no matter how much I confronted the moments I felt rejected by others, I could not be free until I confronted the moment I rejected myself. In other words, I had to learn to fully accept myself by agreeing with what God says about me.
Many of us will have specific moments in the past where we decided we were not good enough, not lovable, not (X) enough and because of whatever events led to that decision, we reject ourselves. We agree with the lies the enemy tells us, and with that agreement comes self-hate and shame.
We must commit to siding with the Truth God speaks to us whether by Rhema moments or through the scriptures. Forgiving, accepting, liking, loving and extending grace to ourselves will help tremendously along this journey.
Tip: spend some time in prayer asking God to highlight the specific lies you may be in agreement with. Then break your agreement with those lies with daily confessions of His Truth.
Tool 3: Standing in Love
...perfect Love casts out fear... (1 John 4:18)
Meditating on God's Love for us needs to be a regular practice, as His Love dispels the residues and fear of rejection. As we are freed from rejection through our relationship with God, we will be able to experience His love in a community of His people.
The fear of rejection often hinders us in this last area; community. The fear of rejection works through our thought life, imaginations and memories. We can get so used to rejection that we anticipate it, and so we continue the very cycle we want to break by shutting people out and keeping our guard up (rejecting them before they reject us, even unintentionally).
In the moments that fear arises, we can remind ourselves of who we are in Christ, accepted, loved, worthy. We can remind ourselves that rejection hasn’t won thus far and God is able to heal our heart should it encounter rejection again. We can reject thoughts and visions filled with lies and anxiety, and choose to be brave. We can refuse to submit to fear and allow God’s love to flow into and out of our lives, through being connected to people He has chosen to be around us.
Abba I pray for each soul bound up in rejection. May they see themselves through Your loving eyes, enable them to come face to face with the pain of the past and release it to You. Expose every lie they have agreed with and replace it with Jesus, the only Truth. May they have the courage and the wisdom to overcome fear, and be a watchman over every thought. Let there be a surrender of the imagination and memories, let there be sanctification and complete transformation as You do what only You can; finish the awesome work You started as You bring about true freedom and complete wholeness in the life of every reader. In Jesus’ precious Name, Amen.