When Mother's Day is hard...
So this post is a little different. With the UK's 'Mothering Sunday' just around the corner I'm led to share this. I know Mother's Day is not a typical topic, but one thing I know is that holidays can expose our hearts in ways no other day can! They can also be a painful reminder of loss & grief. I pray this post holds comfort & encouragement whatever the case be may be.
For the heart wrestling with resentment...
- Give the gift of forgiveness -
There's nothing the enemy would love more than to see us bound in anger and unforgiveness. To the person feeling resentment, the heart of God echoes; could it be that your mother made the choices she did out of her own brokenness? Can you not yet see that the voids in her soul caused her to act out in ways that inevitabhurt you? Not because she intended to but because she could only love you to the degree that she had been loved.
One who doesn't know better, cannot possibly do better. The cycle only continues. When we are feeling resentful, hurt and bitter we must make a decision to be free. Choose freedom. Choose forgiveness. We cannot overcome the past or mature in our walk with Christ whilst allowing toxic emotions to continue to suffocate our hearts.
Forgiveness does not have to mean reconciliation if that is not possible. It doesn't mean the offender "gets away" with causing hurt, or that what they did was ok. It simply means you free yourself from being their judge & executioner. You free your heart from the poison of unforgiveness. You position yourself to receive God's forgiveness. You choose to walk in God's unconditional love instead of a fickle earthly kind, and doing so empowers you.
We all fall short on this side of eternity, wouldn't you want your child's forgiveness if you needed it?
- Get Some Perspective -
You can sit and magnify everything you felt was missing from your childhood, or replay that painful thing your mother did which torments your mind and fuels bitterness. You can drown in the feelings of abandonment. You can dread the day approaching, feeling sorry for yourself because of the way things are.
Or you can look up. You can look for the good. You can celebrate the wins.
For everything you your mother did wrong, maybe there are a dozen things that she got right. For every memory inflicting pain, maybe there is another revealing love. For the mother that decided not to be there, what about the fact that she didn’t abort you? And honestly if there are no good memories and moments, not to worry, we have a Father who is quite the expert at healing those places hat hurt so deeply.
Look for the good, and celebrate that. Give God your memories, your pain, and let His perspective wash over you with the insight of His constant nearness.
Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close. -Psalm 27:10
For the heart that misses their mother...
Abba's word to you are few but no less valuable. You are loved. You are His. And it's okay to grieve, to hurt, to vent. You can give it all to Him. He is your safe place, your comfort, your everlasting and ever-present help. A friend in your time of need.
...And though it's not often preached from the pulpit, you have both Father and Mother in Him. He is your I AM.
No doubt you're grateful for the good memories - enjoy them. And where your last words or encounters were not as you would have liked, you're forgiven. Forgive yourself.
He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.
For the mother not celebrated, and the mother without her children...
It can be hard to watch others with flowers, gifts and heart felt notes whilst you feel forgotten and overlooked. Remember that your worth and value is not defined by one day, but by your Heavenly Father. Remember that He does not forget you. He sees you and knows you. You are forever loved.
For the woman wrestling with the pain of an abortion, or having lost a child, please know that your child is fully alive, fully safe, fully loved in the arms of our Father. There is healing, forgiveness, freedom & new beginnings is Christ.
For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.
Abba, You know each and every heart that reads this post. You know their hurts, their struggles. I pray that you would give them the strength and the courage to forgive the mother/s in their lives. Help them to understand the cycle of brokenness when not broken by You. Teach them to keep forgiving, and keep releasing the pain until it is fully healed. Thank You that you are near to the brokenhearted, may Your presence be most tangible in their grief. Help them to invite You in to their pain. Help us Lord to have Your perspective, to refuse to remain victims, to refuse pity parties, to refuse to be defined by holidays, by pain or by our experiences. May our identity be fully secure in You. May there be a complete restoration in their hearts, and relationships, starting today. In Jesus' Name, Amen.